"If I be not, may God bring me to it.
If I be, may God keep me in it."
I read this quote from the play by George Bernard Shaw on Saint Joan of Arc recently and really like it; somewhat surprisingly, I have to say, not having liked those plays of his which I have seen. They came over to me as clever and witty but lacking in true feeling and heart, unlike these words.
During an interesting conversation earlier this year with one of our local priests on the subject of a 'state of grace', an expression of which I am not very fond, I found myself saying that I rarely feel myself to be in that condition, not even being very sure of its meaning. Even if I had made a true and genuine confession of my failings and failures, within 5 minutes of coming out of the confessional, my state would have relapsed!
What I can say is that I always believe myself to be in a 'state of love'; that is, my implicit trust in God's love for me despite my very poor ability to respond to that love, and my absolute knowledge of my love for my loved ones. That is one thing which I never doubt.
